Little being sassy at the beach..

The other day, Sir and I went to the beach for a day. We had a lot of fun just hanging out in the sun, throwing a frisbee around, listening to music and just relaxing. 

The sun was shining bright and I was just laying down beside him when he asked me to pass his tablet over. I don’t know what got into me but the very first thing I said was “no.” ..idiot right? Thank God he didn’t spank me in public.. instead he simply turned towards me and placed one hand on my neck, squeezed and looked me straight in the eye. I immediately felt chastised and could just imagine what could’ve happened if we weren’t in public. The minute he let go, I quickly grabbed his tablet, handed it to him and quickly mumbled “I’m sorry Sir”. Sir gave me a kiss on the forehead which in our words is: all is forgiven, we’re okay; and then went on with our day. 

It’s always been the subtle things that get me..the stern eye contact, the tsktsk, the taps on my thigh when we’re in public, the warning tone..  always messing with my head..

A story about Sir being there for me through one of the hardest times of my life..

Well! I’ve been MIA from blogging for awhile due to .. a very unfortunate event with my last blog but with the patience and attention of my loving Sir.. I was able to sit back behind the keyboard and get some stuff down..

I just want to put out there – again – how much I appreciate my Dom. my Sir. He is always there for me.. I have been going through a lot lately, and since we are LD (it’s really not that far, but STILL) it’s even harder for me. I’m a very …needy and clingy submissive.. which is not a trait that I enjoy having, but that’s really who I am and I have come to accept it.

Anyways, to quickly summarize: some crazy shit happened that involved my submissive life + university stress + my old blog being revealed + something going really wrong with an item that I bought for Sir that he really wanted PLUS I’ve got some major self esteem issues that I keep hidden away from everyone else out there so recently with all the stresses going on, I had a meltdown. I’m talking a full out crying-my-eyes-out-won’t-even-let-Sir-see-me kind of meltdown. All he could do was sit there… and let me..let it out. I could see the pain in his eyes that he couldn’t hold me and wipe my tears away. I would mutter and say things about myself.. abusing things.. but things that I strongly felt and he would patiently and calmly tell me that I’m wrong, I’m not like that. I finally passed out from all the crying. That was yesterday.

Now today. The initial plan was to travel from where I’m currently living and meet up with Sir for lunch, sit in a cafe until he’s done work, get dinner, go home. One, two, three. Easy peasy. I was in the worst mood ever. I hated myself. My eyes were puffy. I was embarrassed about the night before, ugh, it was awful. I even told Sir that I didn’t want to have lunch with him because I didn’t want him to waste his time on me. …. he wasn’t impressed..  lol. ANYWAY, he sternly told me that I will be going to lunch with him… sooo, I still did – obviously… wouldn’t want to get myself a spanking now. 

QUICK SIDE NOTE: Sir.. isn’t too much into spontaneity. He feels that plans that aren’t planned properly.. don’t go as planned (say that fast 4 times.)

WELL, he decided that today he wanted to go to the beach with his little one and spend the rest of the day with her. He took half a day off and we got onto the bus and went along our merry way. Just being with him made me feel a little better. We found our way to a very cute restaurant with a nice patio and had lunch there, then we went over to the beach. We just sat on the grass (yeah…. you’d think the sand right? but uh, we totally weren’t dressed for the beach.. so we chilled on the grass) and relaxed. Enjoyed each other’s company. I was back to my talkative self telling him all about my newest shenanigans. Half way through the day, I was hit with everything the night before and I burst into tears. Sir immediately grabbed me and pulled me into his arms and just held me as I let out my feelings. I told him how I felt.. what I was thinking.. I never told ANYONE how I really feel. He just listened and stroked my hair.. once in awhile just pulling me closer. Once I let it out, I felt a multitude times better..

The rest of the day flew by after that. We had to go our separate ways in the evening but once I got him I sent him a text.. telling him how much I love him and thanked him for the day.. his reply.. was all about how he’s going to be there with me through all of this. We’re going to beat this self esteem issue together and he will always be there for me in the end, no matter what. 

So. because of him I was able to open my wordpress and start a new post. I felt like I lost a lot when my last blog was ruined and for weeks I couldn’t even look at it but I’m well acquainted with this community and it’s a very accepting one. I’ve already begun to feel at home.. 🙂